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Carnitas with Chile and Sweet Potatoes

If I told you that our Super Bowl party was literally a bloody awesome time, you may assume that I’m one of those people who wrongly uses the word ‘literally’ to express exaggeration rather than expressing actual events. But no…there was literally blood everywhere at my super bowl party. In fact, there is still blood everywhere.

It all began earlier in the afternoon. The boys were playing Xbox Kinect with my husband while I was preparing party food in the kitchen. Everything was coming along wonderfully. The spinach dip was made, the chicken wing dip prepped, and the creole deviled eggs ready to go. Then came the urgent call from the living room. It had appeared that our three year old had somehow cut his toe, as it was covered in fresh blood. Weirder yet, the entire living room appeared to be sprayed in the same blood. My husband started the clean up while I brought our little guy upstairs to clean and bandage the wound. I could find no wound to bandage, but everyone seemed ok, so we carried on with our party prep, puzzled by the mysterious blood.

A little while later, while my husband was giving the boys a pre-party bath, I spotted fresh blood on the sliding glass doors in the living room. At that point, I realized the blood had been coming from our dog, not our son’s toe. A bit of blood on his nose led me to believe it was caused by a nose bleed, but since the bleeding appeared to be under control, we carried on our merry ways.

Everything was going swimmingly at that point. All of the food had been prepped, the house was clean, the kids were dressed. And then our first guests arrived and everything fell into utter chaos. It all happened so fast. As our friends approached the door, along with their three young children, our dog began his typical guest-greeting frenzy, wildly wagging his tail in eager anticipation of our first guests. It was in that moment that we very quickly discovered the true source of the blood. As his tail wagged, smacking our entranceway baskets and walls, blood flew everywhere. And I mean everywhere. In a matter of seconds, the walls, baskets, floors, curtains, and clothing of anyone standing with 10 feet of the dog were instantly speckled with streams of bright red blood.

In walked our first guests, followed in rapid succession by our other guests. We quickly ushered young children through the blood soaked entrance as we frantically tried to make it appear less like the scene of a violent crime and more like the site of a festive occasion. We put the dog outside where I unsuccessfully tried to wrap his wagging tail in gauze. The children played and helped themselves to an unsupervised buffet of red, white, and blue jelly beans, while some of our friends grabbed wipes and cleaned dog blood off our floors. (I throw a great party, right??)

Ultimately, we came to the realization that our pup needed medical care. So, my husband packed our bloody dog into the car and headed off to the emergency vet, leaving me in our blood-speckled home with our houseful of guests and a gaggle of kids in the midst of a major sugar rush…one of which was now doubled over in bellyache pain.

Our friends are lovely though, and everyone took turns passing the baby around as I served drinks and heated the food, while breathing through the panic attack that lay just beneath the surface of my calm demeanor.  Our friends were even so gracious as to claim that it was a great party as they left later that night. (I think they were just being polite.) My husband arrived home by half-time with our dog (who had been shaved, sedated, and stitched) along with a hefty vet bill. The evening will forever be remembered as the Deline Family Super Bowl Massacre, as it would appear to anyone approaching our front door, which is still streaked in red.

I will spend the rest of the week cleaning up from the worst party I’ve ever hosted.

I’d hoped to be sharing a recipe for the Pepperoni Pizza Monkey Bread I made last night, which was insanely fantastic, but in the chaos of last night’s events, I didn’t take a single picture. So, that recipe will need to wait until I have a chance to make it again…Don’t worry, I’ll find some excuse soon!

In the mean time, here are a couple recipes for a really tasty meal…tender, slow-cooked pork carnitas in a sauce of sweet potatoes and spicy chiles. On the side, a simple variation on my favorite roasted brussels sprouts, cooked with spicy chorizo to coat the sprouts in utter deliciousness. The pork has a long cook time, but reheats beautifully. So, either prepare the pork a day ahead of time or plan it for a day you’ll be around to babysit the oven.

Enjoy, friends! Hope your super bowl celebrations were a bit less bloody than ours!

Carnitas with Chile and Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients

  • 1 6-7 pound pork shoulder, trimmed of most excess exterior fat
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • 1 poblano pepper, ribs and seeds removed, chopped
  • 1 serrano pepper, ribs and seeds removed, chopped
  • 1 large sweet potato (yam), cooked until tender, skin removed, lightly mashed*
  • 4 cups chicken broth
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons honey
  • Salt
  • Ground cayenne pepper
*To prepare the sweet potato: Prick the exterior several times with a fork, then bake in a 375 degrees oven for about 60-75 minutes, until quite tender. Cut the potato in half and scoop out the tender interior. Use a fork to lightly mash the potato.

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Generously season the pork with salt. Heat olive oil over medium/medium-high heat in a large dutch oven pan or oven-safe pot. Place the pork shoulder in the pan. Cook for 3-5 minutes on each side, until lightly browned. Remove the roast from the pan and set aside. Add the onion and peppers to the pan. Cook for 3-5 minutes, stirring frequently. Stir in the sweet potato, chicken broth, and honey. Return the pork shoulder to the pan, the cover with a tight-fitting lid and cook on the middle oven rack for about 3.5 – 4 hours.

After 3.5 – 4 hours, remove the pan from the oven and allow to cool at room temperature. Once the pork is cool enough to handle, remove it from the pan and use a fork or your fingers to pull apart the meat, which should be incredibly tender. (I prefer the use my fingers, since it’s easier to remove and discard any bits of fat.)

Allow the sauce to rest while you’re pulling the meat. As it rests, the excess fat should rise to the surface. Use a spoon to skim and discard the excess fat. Then, using a blender, food processor, or immersion blend, puree the sauce until smooth. Return the sauce to the pan and simmer for about 15 minutes over medium heat, until about 1 1/2-2 cups of nicely thickened sauce remains.Stir frequently to prevent burning. Taste and adjust the seasoning with salt and cayenne pepper, if desired.

Toss the meat with the sauce.

To reheat the meat and develop some nice caramelized bits, heat the sauced meat under a hot broiler for a few minutes until the top begins to turn a golden brown.

Serve in warm tortillas.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Chorizo

Ingredients

  • 4 cups brussels sprouts, halved or quartered
  • 4 ounces spicy Spanish chorizo, quartered and sliced
  • 1/4 red onion, chopped
  • 4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
  • Salt

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine all ingredients in a baking dish. Cook for 40-45 minutes, tossing every 10-15 minutes to coat the brussels sprouts with the delicious oil, which will render from the chorizo. Season with salt, to taste.

Diet Day: 37  Weight Loss: 13  Motivation: Stable…enjoyed myself at last night’s party, back on track today!

Cocktail Meatballs Three Ways

When it comes to any type of sport, I’m more of a go-to-a-game kind of person than a sit-on-my-couch-cheering-and-cursing kind of person. There’s a whole atmosphere to being at a game. There are people passing out beer and food. There’s music and singing. There are people doing ‘the wave’. And I really like ‘the wave’. I like the whole experience of attending a game. But watching sports from my couch…boring.

So, sports-watchin’…not really my thing. But game day snacks…totally my thing! We’re throwing a little super bowl party this year, because it’s a great excuse to have some friends over and enjoy some tasty food. We’ll eat. We’ll drink. We’ll laugh. We may even do the wave.

I’ll be serving of few of my old favorites, specifically chicken wing dip, creole-deviled eggs, and spinach dip along with a few new items, like pepperoni pizza monkey bread (doesn’t that sound delicious??) and these cocktail meatballs in three different sauces.

We’ll start with a basic, versatile meatball, made with a mix of beef, pork, and turkey, then we’ll dress them in three different, but equally delicious, sauces. Make one, two, or all three! These meatballs can be made ahead of time, tossed in their sauce and refrigerated or frozen until use. Reheat in a 350 degrees oven for 15 minutes or so, until heated through. Meatballs can be reheated from frozen, but allow for extra time.

**Each sauce recipe makes enough to thoroughly coat 1/3 of the meatball recipe. Doubling any of the sauce recipes should make enough sauce for the entire meatball batch.

Basic Cocktail Meatball

Ingredients

  • 1 pound ground beef
  • 1 pound ground pork
  • 1 pound ground turkey
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 small onion, finely diced
  • 1 1/4 cup bread crumbs
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons garlic, minced

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine all ingredients until well blended. Roll the mixture into balls, about 1″ diameter. Place the balls in a single layer on baking sheets which have been lightly rubbed with a bit of olive oil. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until fully cooked.

Makes about 90-100 meatballs

Honey Mustard Sauce

Ingredients

  • 3/4 cup spicy brown mustard
  • 2/3 cup honey
  • 2 teaspoons prepared horseradish

Directions

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat until smooth. Pour over the meatballs.

Sweet and Sour Pineapple Sauce

Ingredients

  • 1 cup pineapple preserves
  • 3 tablespoons ketchup
  • 3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

Directions

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat until smooth. Pour over the meatballs.

Thai Peanut Sauce

Ingredients

  • 2/3 cup crunchy peanut butter
  • 1 can coconut milk
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons brown sugar
  • 1 tablespoon soy sauce
  • 2 teaspoons red curry paste
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
  • Salt, to taste
  • 3 green onions, chopped

Directions

Combine all ingredients, except green onions, in a saucepan over medium heat until smooth. Stir in most of the green onions, saving some for garnish. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt or additional red curry paste, as desired. Pour the sauce over the meatballs. Garnish with remaining green onions.

And if those meatballs don’t do it for you, check out these previously posted Gourmand Mom meatballs…

Buffalo Chicken Meatballs

Cranberry Chipotle Meatballs

Asian Style Turkey Meatballs in Hoisin Peanut Sauce

Roasted Chili-Garlic Chickpeas

My baby has entered the period of development I refer to as the crash-helmet phase. This is the period of time where I’m inclined to swaddle my children in bubble wrap and coat everything else in cotton balls. Would that be so weird? He’s learned how to stand now, but his balance is poor and he forgets that he needs to hold on for support. He often gets so excited by his new skill that he throws his hands wildly outward in a grand gesture of success, which usually results in propelling his little body backwards. Oh, and he climbs. Things which were never meant to be climbed. Like his older brothers or the dog. That rarely ends well.

His sweet little head is already peppered with pale yellow bruises. Seriously, do you think people would laugh if I wrapped him in bubble wrap? He’s just too stinkin’ cute to be bruised. What if I just turned down the heat and dressed him all day in his puffy winter coat? It won’t be long before he’s chasing his brothers around the house. Everything always seems to happen so fast from this point.

Good thing I’ve gotten back to my running lately, since I’m going to need strong legs to keep up with all of the active little men in my life. You may assume that running is part of my New Year’s weight loss plan, but it’s actually quite the opposite. I don’t run to lose weight (though I certainly hope it will help). Running makes me feel capable and confident. I yearn to be leaner and swifter, so I can glide through my runs with more grace than the current charging-rhino thing I’ve got going on. I’ve got my eye on running the Disney half-marathon someday. Becoming a better runner is one of the driving forces behind my desire to lose the weight. Lose weight, run better…double win!

If you’ve been following this blog over the past month, you know that I’ve been following the South Beach diet in order to shed some of the extra weight I’ve been carrying around since having my third little love. I’ve been at it for a month now, with only a few little ‘cheats’ and I’ve already lost 12 pounds. The diet basically comes down to eliminating refined carbs and focusing on lean proteins, fresh produce, and whole grains. It’s clean eating, which is an idea I can stand behind! Eliminating refined, sugary foods keeps your blood sugar levels stable, which in turn drastically cuts down on the insatiable cravings for naughty things. That works for me.

But though my hunger and cravings are kept at bay on this diet, I still have that afternoon urge to snack like I haven’t eaten in years. It’s more of a comfort mechanism than a hunger thing, usually corresponding with the time of the day when all three boys are tired, cranky, and stir-crazy…the ‘magic hour’ which falls sometime between lunch and dinner and usually fools me into thinking I’m ravenous. So, I need to keep my house free of my most tempting snacks (I’m talkin’ about you, Cheez-its) and well-stocked with more nutritious, but equally satisfying options, like these roasted chickpeas. I can pop a hundred of these little babies and still feel good about the way I’m satisfying my snackiness with loads of nutritious protein and fiber! The hardest part is trying not to eat the whole batch!

Roasted Chili-Garlic Chickpeas

Ingredients

  • 2 (15.5-ounce) cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans)
  • 1.5 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon chili powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon onion powder

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Drain the cans of chickpeas, then rinse and pat dry with a paper towel. Arrange the chickpeas in a single layer on a baking sheet. Drizzle with the olive oil and seasonings, then shake the pan to evenly coat all chickpeas. Place the baking sheet on the middle oven rack and bake for 25-40 minutes, until as crispy as desired. (25 minutes should produce a crisp exterior with a more tender center. 40 minutes will produce a crunchier result.)

Enjoy warm or at room temperature. Makes a great addition to salads too!

Leftover roasted chickpeas sprinkled over mixed green salad with broiled salmon

Diet Day: 31   Weight Loss: 12   Motivation: Rejuvenated! Hit a plateau, but the scale seems to be moving again!

Pan-Seared Cod over Bean and Basil Puree

I find that with each successive child, we make more and more compromises in how we handle parenting decisions. It’s a survival mechanism, born out of necessity as we’ve become outnumbered by small humans with fast hands and urgent needs. Or perhaps our experience with each child has simply helped us to prioritize what really matters and to let the rest go. Experience has taught us flexibility. (And appreciation for quiet and sleep.)

Our first son slept the whole night in his crib fairly early on. We read some expert books, applied a few strategies with consistency, and it happened. He was on a nap schedule that ran like clockwork. He ate organic purees and had a bath every night, right before leisurely rocking in his glider chair as we read The Giving Tree for the 100th time. This baby is lucky if he gets dunked in the bath with his brothers for a few minutes, a couple times a week. He naps exclusively in my arms and thinks our king-sized bed belongs to him. And yesterday he tried to eat a page out of the Harry Potter book my oldest son left on the floor.

Last night, I admitted to my husband that I’ve been giving the baby one Oreo a day. Pretty sure that Oreos are not on the food list the doctor gave us at his most recent check-up. But, you see, my little love doesn’t like to get put down. My normally happy baby screams when he is put down. And I mean SCREAMS! The screaming hurts my sleep-deprived ears. And some chores are just too difficult to do with a 20-pound baby in one arm. So, on the day when I handed him one of his brothers’ Oreos for a little taste, and discovered the focused, independent manner in which he tackled that cookie, a lightening bolt went off in my head. It takes him about an hour to eat half a cookie…slowly working it with his two teeth and a whole lot of baby drool, until it dissolves into mushy chocolate bits, spread all over his happy face. I’d discovered a brilliant strategy for freeing my hands in order to cook dinner and take care of my family’s ever-accumulating mountain of dishes.

Were Oreos part of my ideal parenting plan? No, not quite. Is it a parenting strategy I would advocate? Nope, can’t say it is. Is it a compromise I’m willing to make in order to get through the day with any semblance of sanity remaining? Mhmm…yes it is. So, there you have it folks…my baby is growing and thriving on breastmilk, organic purees, and one half an Oreo cookie a day.

Do I believe that he’ll be worse off from his half cookie a day? Nah…he gets enough of the good stuff to balance the daily treat. And what we all gain in Mommy’s ability to keep our home running with minimal chaos is worth the small compromise. It’s the things which really matter…like snuggles, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on, which we won’t ever compromise. Priorities.

While the baby is finishing his cookie, the rest of the family is eating this. (Someday the baby will too…if I can convince him that other foods are as delicious as Oreos.) Buttery, flakey, pan-seared cod, served over a flavorful bean puree and drizzled with a touch of basil oil garnish. You won’t need to convince anyone to eat their lima beans when they’re prepared like this! Skip the canned and use frozen lima beans for the freshest, most vibrant result. This bean puree would also make a fantastic dip for veggies or pita, so save any leftovers for a tasty and nutritious snack! A neutral-tasting white fish, like Pacific cod, works well for this dish, but you can easily substitute other fish, shellfish, or even chicken!

Bean and Basil Puree

Ingredients

  • 1 cup frozen lima beans, defrosted
  • 1 (15.5 ounce) can butter beans
  • 6 cloves roasted garlic*
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 25 large basil leaves (approximately)
  • 1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • Pepper, to taste

*Click HERE to see my photo guide on how to roast garlic

Directions

To make the puree, drain the can of butter beans, reserving the liquid. Combine the lima beans, butter beans, roasted garlic, olive oil, basil leaves, salt and pepper in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth. Gradually add some of the bean liquid until the mixture reaches your desired consistency. (About 1/2 cup should do the trick.) Refrigerate until using. Serve slightly warmed.

Pan-Seared Pacific Cod

Ingredients

  • 2 (6-ounce) Pacific cod fillets
  • Salt and Pepper
  • Olive oil, for searing

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degress. Pat the filets with a paper towel to remove excess moisture. Heat a thin layer of olive oil in an oven-safe pan over medium/medium-high heat. Season the filets with salt and pepper. Place the filets in the hot oil. Cook for 3-4 minutes on the first side, without disturbing. (Trying to move the fish too soon may result in crumbled fish. The fish will release much easier once it has sufficiently seared.) Then, using a thin, flexible spatula, carefully flip the fillets. Cook for about a minute on the second side, then place the pan in the oven. Cook in the oven until the fish reaches an internal temperature of 130 degrees, about 5 minutes. Cook time will vary depending on the thickness of your filets.

For the basil oil garnish: Blend about 1/8 cup olive oil with about 1/4 cup of fresh basil leaves. Gently simmer the blended mixture for about 5 minutes. Allow to cool to room temperature.

Cookie Puss

Lamb Gyro Salad with Tzatziki Dressing

Mommy?

What’s up, honey?

I know how God died.

Do you mean Jesus, sweetie?  (assuming he’d recently talked about Jesus’ death in the Catholic school he attends)

Yeah, Jesus.

Ok…how’d he die, hon?

A meteor killed him.

**Long pause**

Oh, a meteor? Are you sure you’re not thinking about the dinosaurs?

No, I’m talking about God. I think the meteor came down to Earth, bounced off the dinosaurs, then headed over to the church, where God was relaxing. It got him and then he went to heaven.

**Longer pause**

Ummm…I don’t think God was killed by a meteor. But yes, he’s up there in heaven.

With the dinosaurs?

Mhmm…with the dinosaurs.

The Catholic school curriculum must have changed since I was a kid. Though I suppose this meteor story is no more inventive than the tiny robotic helper bugs he’s been dreaming up to assist with some of life’s more unpleasant activties. My four year old is going to change the world. Seriously, just you watch.

My husband has been doing this South Beach diet with me, even though he doesn’t have the same weight to lose that I do (darn him with his fast male metabolism and naturally smaller appetite). But having a partner in this makes it so much easier to stay the course. I am thankful for that.

The best thing I can do to show my gratitude is to make sure that our meals stay interesting and delicious. And what better dish to prepare than his favorite meal, Greek-style Lamb Burgers, slightly-modifed to fit our new diet??

This salad has all the flavor of lamb gyro, without the pita. Warm, seasoned lamb provides protein and amazing flavor, while a thinned out tzatziki sauce makes the perfect dressing for this gyro-inspired meal. If you’re not watching your refined carbs intake, go ahead and have some toasted pita wedges on the side.

Lamb Gyro Salad with Tzatziki Dressing

Ingredients

For the lamb gyro meat:

  • 1 pound ground lamb
  • 2 teaspoons garlic, minced
  • 1 teaspoon rosemary leaves
  • 1 teaspoon oregano
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper

For the tzatziki dressing:

  • 1/2 large seedless English cucumber
  • 1 7-ounce container plain Greek yogurt
  • 2 teaspoons garlic, minced
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil

For the salad:

  • Lettuce (Romaine or Iceberg), chopped
  • 1 ripe tomato, sliced
  • 1 red onion, thinly sliced
Directions
To prepare the lamb gyro meat: Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Combine lamb with the garlic, rosemary, oregano, salt, and crushed red pepper. Knead the mixture until it is quite smooth, like a paste. Form the mixture into four mini ‘loafs’. Place the loaves on a baking sheet and bake for about 15-17 minutes. Cool for 5-10 minutes before thinly slicing.
To prepare the dressing: Using a box grater set atop of a bowl, grate the cucumber. Using your hands, squeeze the excess liquid out of the cucumber, reserving the liquid. Place the squeezed cucumber in another bowl. Combine the grated cucumber with the remaining ingredients. Gradually add the reserved cucumber liquid to the dressing until it reaches your desired consistency. Taste and adjust seasonings to your liking. Refrigerate until use.
To assemble the salad: Arrange each of the warm, thinly-sliced loaves over the lettuce, tomatoes, and onions. Drizzle with tzatziki dressing.
Serves 4

Mini Crustless Quiche Lorraines

Some days, I wish I could go back in time to my fifteen year old self and shake myself silly. The fifteen year old self who thought her chest was too small and her hips too wide for her too thin waist and flat as a washboard stomach. Oh you silly, silly girl. Why in the world are teenage girls programmed to despise themselves so?? What I would give to go back in time to appreciate the beautiful body I never knew I had.

And now I sit here, in my mid-thirties, after having had three kids over the course of four years, wishing my hips were only as wide as they were twenty years ago or that my chest were nearly as small or my stomach as flat. Oh, the lessons we learn too late.

And while I may never be as small as I was then, I am confident that I will regain a healthy and strong figure; a body I am proud of as much for the way it looks and feels as I am for how it has grown, birthed, and nourished my three beautiful babies. It’ll just take a little effort to get there.

I’m 17 days into my New Year’s diet; a diet which I intend to stick with, long past the one month expiration date which many people’s New Year’s resolutions seem to have. Because it’s more than a diet. It’s a shift to healthier living and a healthier, more confident me. I’m feeling motivated and optimistic. Over the past few weeks, we’ve eaten so many delicious meals; cut out the junk we shouldn’t be eating anyway and replaced it with tons of fresh veggies, lean proteins, and healthy fats. We’re eating like kings around here and our extra pounds are falling off.

I’ve got a growing list of new healthy recipes to share with you, but for now, here’s a quick recipe for a delicious, protein-rich, low-carb breakfast or snack.  These mini quiches hold well for a few days in the fridge and take only a few seconds in the microwave to reheat. You can even freeze half the batch for later use! I added swiss cheese, tender, sweet onions, and crumbled bacon for a tasty play on quiche Lorraine, but the options are endless. Try different combinations of cheese, veggies, and meats to create your personal favorite mini quiches!

Mini Crustless Quiche Lorraines

Ingredients

  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • 1/2 tablespoon butter
  • 8 eggs
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • Black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
  • 1/2 cup swiss cheese, shredded
  • 4 slices bacon, cooked until crispy and chopped

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray two mini muffin tins with non-stick cooking spray.

In a small pan, heat the butter over medium heat. Add the chopped onion and cook for 7-10 minutes, until tender and golden.

In a large measuring cup or bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, salt, pepper, and parsley. Set aside.

Place a pinch of the cheese, onions, and bacon in the bottom of each muffin tin. Then, carefully pour the egg mixture into each tin, just to the top.

Place the trays on the middle oven rack and bake for about 15 minutes. They will look puffed and golden when done.

Makes 24 mini quiches

*Quiches can be served immediately or refrigerated or frozen for later use. A few seconds in the microwave will do the trick for reheating.

Diet Day: 17    Weight Loss: 11    Motivation: Let’s do this!

Beef Pot Roast Marsala

Pretty sure that my husband has garnered all of his parenting skills from George Bluth on Arrested Development. This bodes quite poorly for our dear sons.

Take, for example, the stories he tells the boys about ‘Larry’. Larry is apparently the son we used to have, before he played with the bathtub drain and got sucked down it. Poor, poor Larry. The moral of the story is: Never play with the bathtub drain.

And then there are the stories about Darryl, and his other brother Darryl, also imaginary former children of ours. Each met equally terrible fates as a result of their naughty mischief.

The kids have learned all sorts of lessons from these stories, like never to play with the fireplace screen and to always put the caps back on the markers, lest they meet the same sad fate of Larry, Darryl, or Darryl.

The kids don’t know what to make of these stories. Their sense of real and pretend is still developing…as is their understanding of spatial relations. They giggle nervously as their dad talks of Larry, while I quickly reassure them that their daddy is just kidding. My husband then counters with comments like, Yes there really was a Larry. Mommy’s just too sad to talk about it. And then, when their father is not around, the boys quietly ask me if kids can really go down the drain. No, sweethearts. Your daddy is just a joker. (And later he’ll wonder why you won’t listen when he tells you it’s important to wear your bicycle helmet.)

If you haven’t seen Arrested Development, fire up your Netflix right now. You’ll laugh. And laughing is good. This pot roast is good too! I mean like, I-could-eat-this-every-night kind of good. Tender, flavorful, comforting. The idea entered my mind after looking for a pot roast recipe for a friend. During that search, I ran across a simple pot roast with mushrooms recipe, which got my gears turning. I bought the ingredients for my marsala-based twist on pot roast that afternoon. I sense this recipe is going to become a frequent Sunday night dinner.

Ideally, I’d have served mashed potatoes on the side of this pot roast, but under the rules of my current diet, potatoes are a big no-no. (You thought those were mashed potatoes in the picture, didn’t ya?) So, I decided to give something else a try; a cauliflower mash. Now, you may be thinking that there is no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that mashed cauliflower is going to satisfy your mashed potato craving. I was also quite skeptical. But I’ve got to tell you, I would eat this cauliflower mash even if I weren’t on an anti-potato diet. It’s surprisingly delicious. Parmesan cheese and garlic powder make this side dish a real winner! You won’t even miss the potatoes.

Beef Pot Roast Marsala

Ingredients

  • 2.5-3 pound chuck roast
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon pepper
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • 6 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
  • 3 cups baby bella (cremini) mushrooms, rinsed
  • 1 cup marsala wine
  • 1 quart beef stock
  • A few sprigs of fresh parsley

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Trim the chuck roast of any excess exterior fat. Season with the salt and pepper. In a large dutch oven or oven safe pan, heat olive oil over medium/medium-high heat. Place the meat in the pan and brown on all sides, about 2-3 minutes per side. Remove the meat and set aside. Reduce the heat slightly. Add the onion and garlic. Cook for 3-5 minutes, until tender. Add the mushrooms. Cook for another minute or two. Add the marsala wine and simmer for a minute or two. Return the meat to the pan. Add the beef stock and the sprigs of parsley. The beef stock should come almost to the top of the meat, but not cover. Bring the liquid to a simmer, then cover the pan and place it in the oven. Cook for 3.5 hours.

Remove the pan from the oven. Carefully remove the roast. Place it on a cutting board and loosely cover with foil. Simmer the sauce in the pan for about 5-7 minutes to reduce. Turn off the heat, wait for a few minutes, then skim the excess fat from the surface of the sauce. (My favorite way to skim the fat is to pour the sauce into a clear container, like a pyrex measuring cup, and allow it to cool for a few minutes. The fat will rise to the surface. Carefully lower a large spoon into the fat layer to collect and discard the excess fat.) Finally, taste the sauce and adjust seasoning with additional salt and pepper, if desired. Slice the meat or shred it with a fork (I went with shredding, since it was so tender, it fell apart when I attempted to slice.) Pour the sauce over the meat when serving.)

Serves about 6

Garlic-Parmesan Cauliflower Mash

Ingredients

  • 6 cups cauliflower, steamed until tender
  • 2 tablespoon butter
  • 2/3 cup parmesan cheese, grated
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Adjust seasoning as desired.

Serves about 6

Diet Day:  15    Weight Loss: 10   Motivation: Unwavering

*We finished phase 1 (the hard part) of South Beach diet yesterday. As of today, we get to welcome back whole grain breads, fresh fruits, dark chocolate…yum!

Spicy Beef and Bean Stew

You know those little dolls…the ones where you press their belly and they repeat a series of silly little things, like Mama, Feed me, and Goo goo gah gah?

Well, my three-year-old is just like that, only his sound bytes are more like I love you so much, I don’t like you, and I’m freezing cold.

For the record:

My four-year-old’s soundtrack is something like, I’m thirsty, I have an idea…, and How about we…

Daddy’s goes something like, What’s for dinner?, I’m getting a beer, d’ya need anything?, and things like It’s a fact of life. Dogs don’t like to be disturbed while they’re eating and neither does Daddy.

And Mommy’s is a bit like, Why in the world would you do that?, This room looks like a tornado blew through it, and Serenity now!

It’s the I’m freezing cold one that I can’t wrap my head around. The kid stubs his toe…I’m freezing cold. I tell him that he can’t have another cookie…I’m freezing cold. It’s time to get dressed for school…But, I’m freezing cold.

I tell him, You keep saying that. I do not think it means what you think it means.

A typical conversation with my little man goes something like this:

Hey buddy, it’s time to clean up your toys.

I can’t.

Why can’t you clean up your toys?

It’s just that…I don’t like you.

Ok, that’s fine, but you still need to clean up your toys.

But, I’m freezing cold.

Well, put on a hoodie and then clean up your toys.

**Insert Cry. Scream.Wail.** (Him, not me. Ok, sometimes me too.)

Mommy?

Yes, buddy?

I just love you so much.

I love you too. Now…Clean. Up. Your. Toys. This room looks like a tornado blew through it.

It IS winter time though, so if you’re freezing cold, it’s probably with good reason. And I’ve got just the thing to warm you up! Winter is the time for foods which fill our bellies and leave us feeling all toasty and satisfied. January also happens to be National Soup Month. So, it’s the perfect time for this Spicy Beef and Bean Stew, made with tender, slow-cooked beef and fresh jalapeño peppers. The broth gets its thickness from a puree of white beans, rather than the typical butter/flour roux. This is a rich and satisfying stew, which also happens to be extra-rich in protein and lower in high glycemix index carbs than traditional flour-thickened meat and potato stews!!

Spicy Beef and Bean Stew

Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 small onion, finely diced
  • 2 teaspoons garlic, minced
  • 2 jalapeño peppers, ribs and seeds removed, finely diced
  • 1.5 – 2 pounds stew beef
  • 1/2 cup marsala wine (optional, but recommended)
  • 1 quart beef stock
  • 2 tablespoons tomato paste
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 2 (15.5 ounce) cans cannellini beans
  • 1 (15.5 ounce) can black beans, drained

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large ovensafe saucepan or dutch oven, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion and cook for 3-5 minutes, until tender. Add the garlic and jalapeño peppers. Cook for 2-3 minutes more, stirring frequently. Raise the heat to medium high and add the beef. Brown the beef on all sides. Add the marsala wine and allow it to simmer for a minute. Then, add the beef stock, tomato paste, and salt. Stir to combine. Bring to a simmer, then cover with a  tight fitting lid and place the pan on the middle oven rack. Cook for 2 hours. While the beef is cooking, puree one can of the cannellini beans and their liquid in a blender or food processor. Set aside. Drain the other two cans of beans. After two hours, remove the cover. Stir in the pureed beans and the whole beans. Cook, uncovered, for 20 minutes more. Remove from the oven. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and black pepper, as desired.

Serves 4-6

Diet Day: 12   Weight loss: 7    Motivation: Strong and steady

Creole Fish Tacos

Someday we’ll try to explain to the kids how we used to be cool. How we used to live in NYC…well, technically just outside it. Ok. It was New Jersey, but is was just across the Hudson. Mommy went to culinary school downtown after teaching preschool in Queens and daddy played bass in a rock band. After work, we used to meet up with friends in some of the city’s coolest places, like a one-time speakeasy, said to have been a favorite spot for numerous authors, poets, and playwrights, such as E.E. Cummings, William Faulkner, and Eugene O’Neill.  And in the evenings we’d hang out in underground clubs, sometimes shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Chris Robinson from the Black Crowes, as a fire-breathing (literally) band called Toilet Boys rocked the stage. For realz. And one time we even bumped into a young Katie Holmes (think Dawson’s Creek era) in a very un-Dawson’s Creek type bar.

We’ll reminisce about the time we took friends for drinks at the bar atop the World Trade Center. Or how we used to dine in restaurants where at least five different waiters catered to our every need as we enjoyed ten-course tasting menus (with wine-pairings, of course). Places where every member of the staff made a point to know you by name on your very first visit. Places where we could drop a mortgage payment on a meal, without concern for silly things like preschool tuition, college funds or diapers.

We’ll talk of the other adventures we had. Like the summer after college that we spent living in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany, waiting tables and housekeeping at a local hotel, in between jaunts to Amsterdam, Italy, and Greece, back in the days where every country had their own currency. We’ll remember the afternoons we spent hiking up the Kramer mountain and drinking big mugs of flavorful German beer in the biergarten situated halfway up the mount, as we overlooked the entire town, deciding on names for our future pets.

The kids will take one look at my mom jeans and the lone gray hair (which probably won’t be so lone by then) growing in my sloppy ponytail and fully believe we’re lying to them. We will appear too old and way too uncool to have ever done such cool stuff. Our pre-digital photographs will all have faded. And our friends, the ones who could corroborate our stories, will appear as full-of-bologna as we do. It’ll become like those stories our grandparents used to tell about walking to school in tissue box shoes. The kids will assume we are exaggerating, though our memories are clear.

I’d like to say that we’re overdue for a another big adventure. That my heart longs, just a bit, to go back to each of those times in our lives. And it does. But I suppose that parenthood is the grandest adventure of them all. I mean, we made little humans…three of them! Little people with bits of each of us, perfectly blended into three unique individuals. Three perfect little people who will grow to create their own exciting memories. Life’s adventures don’t get more awesome than that.

Our lives now are consumed by toy trains and rubber snakes. Fancy meals are made at home or enjoyed as a family at the Spaghetti Warehouse. And the last time I bumped into a rockstar, it was my four-year-old singing Nowhere Man. But it’s ok. It’s perfect, actually. There will be plenty of time for new adventures once we’re done raising our pack of tiny humans.

Our bucket list of future adventures is long. But one of the adventures on the short (more easily attainable) list, is a trip to New Orleans. It may well be our next long-weekend adventure, once the baby is weened and old enough to leave for a few days. I’ve longed for New Orleans my entire life, for reasons other than my current desire to eat and drink my way through the city. The city calls to me. I’m anxious to meet her someday (ideally during Jazzfest)!

In the mean time, I like to create meals with the flavors I envision I will enjoy when I’m there. Like these Creole-style Fish Tacos, which feature big chunks of  cornmeal-crusted catfish set atop a crisp creole slaw and drizzled in a spicy chipotle remoulade.

P.S. These tasty tacos are not on our South Beach diet. They were made a few weeks ago, in between mountains of Christmas cookies. But I’m sure you could squeeze them into any balanced diet!

Chipotle Remoulade

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 chipotle pepper (from can of chipotles in adobo)
  • 1 tablespoon capers
  • 1 tablespoon chopped pickle
  • 1 anchovy fillet (optional, can omit)
  • 1 teaspoon dijon or brown mustard
Directions

*Run your fingers along the anchovy, as you rinse it under running water to check for and remove any larger bones. If you choose to omit the anchovie, you may want to add a dash of salt to the sauce.

Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor.  Blend until smooth. Taste and adjust seasonings, if desired. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Creole Slaw

Ingredients

  • 3 cups cole slaw mix (shredded cabbage and carrots)
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
  • 1 teaspoon worchestershire sauce
  • 1/2 tablespoon creole mustard
  • 1/2 tablespoon brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic, minced
  • 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt

Directions

Combine the mayo, vinegar, worchestershire, mustard, brown sugar, garlic, cayenne and salt. Taste and adjust seasoning, if desired. Toss with the cole slaw mix. Make several hours or a day ahead if possible. Refrigerate until use.

Cornmeal Crusted Catfish
Ingredients
  • 3 catfish fillets
  • 1 cup yellow cornmeal
  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 1/8 cup creole/cajun seasoning*
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • Vegetable oil

*If your creole seasoning is not well salted, add additional salt to the dry mixture.

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine cornmeal, flour, creole seasoning, and additional salt (optional) in a small baking dish or tray. Dip each catfish fillet into the beaten egg. Then press the catfish into the cornmeal mixture until well coated on all sides. Heat a thin layer of oil in a large oven-safe fry pan over medium/medium-high heat. Place the catfish fillets in the oil and cook for 2-3 minutes on each side, until golden and crispy. Then, place the pan into the heated oven and cook for about 12 additional minutes, until cooked through.

To compose the tacos: Place 4-6 small flour tortillas in a 375 degrees oven for a few minutes, until warm and slightly toasted. Remove the tortillas from the oven and fold in half while warm. Cut the catfish fillets into large chunks. Fill each tortilla with a generous mound of the creole slaw and several chunks of the catfish. Generously drizzle with the chipotle remoulade.

Makes 4-6 tacos

Diet Day: 10   Weight Loss: -6.5 or so   Motivation: Happily staying the course

Smoked Salmon and Cucumber Salad

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Recently, we picked up one of those Kinect sensors for the Xbox 360. We figured it would provide for some active fun for the boys during the cold, indoor winter months and even get us big kids moving a bit more to help out with our fitness goals. Some of the games in Kinect Adventures really get that heart rate pumping! And I’m waiting on my copy of Dance Central 2 to arrive, so I can totally bust out my sweet dance moves (in complete private, when nobody else is around).

The Kinect sensor is pretty amazing. And utterly frightening too. It’s got a little motorized camera which tracks and responds to your movements. If you move, the camera moves to find you. It can scan your body and create an animated version of your image on the tv…wearing the same clothes you’re wearing. Creepy. And it takes pictures of you while you play. It even responds to voice commands, like “Xbox, stop.” and “Xbox, play Golden Girls.” and “Xbox, make my dinner.”

Ok, so the Xbox doesn’t know how to make my dinner. Yet. But I’m sure that software upgrade is just around the corner. Seriously, the robot revolution is upon us. Are you prepared?

The other day, as I was trying to teach the kids not to wander aimlessly in front of other people while they’re playing with the Kinect, I found myself saying, You can’t walk in front of people because it confuses the Kinect. It’s not smart like us and it can’t figure out who it’s supposed to be tracking when there are too many people moving around.

And as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to eat them. The Xbox just heard me, questioning its intelligence. I swear I heard the little camera eye move to focus closer on me in that moment, recording and passing judgement on me as an enemy of the robot uprising. I’m doomed. I instantly started fumbling my words, trying to make my insult to the Kinect seem less degrading. I love you, Xbox. Please don’t annihilate me.

But since the Xbox is not about to prepare my meals anytime soon, I suppose that leaves me to do it… Hubby and I are still going strong with our lower carb diets. Today marks Day 8 of our diet and I’m down…drumroll, please…6 pounds!! Not a bad start, if you ask me. The weight won’t continue to come off at a rate of six pounds per week (nor should it), but it’s certainly a motivating start. The best part is that we have been dining on some pretty fantastic food this week. Like this smoked salmon and cucumber salad which is the stuff that dreams are made of. So fresh and simple. So insanely delicious!

Enjoy! (And beware. Kinect is watching.)

Smoked Salmon and Cucumber Salad

Ingredients

  • 4 ounces smoked salmon
  • 1 large seedless cucumber
  • 2-3 small tomatoes, halved and sliced into small pieces
  • 1/4 red onion, very thinly sliced
  • 2 tablespoons non-pareil capers
  • Creme fraiche, for garnish (can substitute sour cream)

For the Fresh Dill Vinaigrette:

  • 1/8 cup olive oil
  • 1/8 cup white balsamic vinaigrette (plus a touch more)
  • 1/2 teaspoon dijon mustard
  • 1 tablespoon fresh dill leaves, torn
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • Pepper, to taste

Directions

To prepare the vinaigrette, whisk together the olive oil, vinegar, mustard, dill, salt and pepper until well combined. Cut the cucumber in half, then use a mandolin slicer or a very sharp knife to very thinly slice the cucumber, lengthwise, into ‘ribbons’. Place a mound of the cucumber ribbons in the center of each plate. Scatter the onions and tomatoes over the cucumber. Tear the salmon into small pieces and scatter over the salad. Place a larger piece of salmon in the center. Sprinkle the capers over the salad. Drizzle each salad with the dill dressing. If desired, garnish the center piece of salmon with a small dollop of creme fraiche or sour cream.

Serves 2

Diet Day: 8   Weight Loss: -6   Motivation: High!

The Gourmand Mom

Good food, seasoned with a dash of life